TV was dull the other night – I didn’t want to watch a load of dodgy people mumbling about bungs when we all suspect it’s rife anyway, Stephen Fry’s documentary on Bi-polar disorder was a bit too heavy for my mood and the other channels were just as unappealing. (I can’t be bothered to watch Lost – I’ll only have to start watching it religiously, order the box sets and catch up. It’s too much effort.)
I did the usual flick through the DVDs on the shelf. Some unwatched, some I could watch again. However, as Kathy was wanting to watch a film too I had more than just my own criteria to suffice – I was soon starting to feel the frustration rise as the first row of titles surrendered without even offering me a title to call out to Kathy for approval.
Here’s a top ten of titles I either ruled out immediately or Kathy declined to watch….
1. Raging Bull – Too long. Too violent. Too black and white. Not a good start.
2. 7 Samurai – Too long. Too violent. Too black and white and, too foreign. Its getting worse!
3. South Park the Movie – Too silly.
4. Hudson Hawk – While it is a post-modernist masterpiece I felt that Kathy would ridicule it (probably justifiably) to the point of me turning it off in a huff. So no.
5. Robocop – The 3 movie box set – Too violent, too violent and too silly, and ludicrously too silly. (In that order)
6. Lord of the Rings – Please! No more, Mr Smith! Make the tiny hairy people stop….I…can’t….take…no…more….
7. Hitch – What? Who owns this? I didn’t buy this. Who is planting DVDs in my collection to destroy my film credibility? Rejected and buried beneath the roses for the sake of humanity…
8. Casablanca – Of all the DVDs in all the world etc. While I could watch it again and again I didn’t think Kathy would want yet another viewing…
9. Its a Wonderful Life – OK I hold my hand up and say I have never actually seen this – I own the DVD to remedy this crime – but…as Kathy pointed out – its not Christmas quite yet…
10. Anchorman – Too silly again. Why are all my films either violent or silly?
Eventually I found the Brat Pack box set I bought for Kathy last Christmas – How about St Elmo’s Fire? Another film I have yet to seen and it didn’t rely of Christmas time for viewing.
A winner was found!
What did I think about the film having finally seen it? Well – I felt no sympathy for any of the character and thought the film look dated. But I secretly I loved it. I think the sign that a movie has done its job well is that I’m still thinking about it the next day. True – I found bits funny when meant to be serious and bits disturbing when meant to be comedy relief (Estevez stalking the object of his infatuation was creepy!) but it was a good film to pass the time.
And the point of this post? Not a lot really – I just wanted to say that I ticked off another of those films that I’d always meant to see but never quite got round to watching. It’s the small things in life…..
That gives me an idea for my next Top Ten! Films I should have watched by now but haven’t….
I was talking to Andrew at the pub on Saturday (incidentally – it was great to see Tim W and Michelle again) about how I have several unfinished posts waiting for me and how I never seem to get round to completing them.
This is one of them – written a week ago and I got 2 lines in. He recommended just finishing them in one sitting or they’ll never get done. So thats what I’m attempting to do here – please forgive any typos etc!
We went to the Chilli Fiesta in West Dean 2 weekends ago. Its a horticutltural college which has a fantastic walled garden which specialises in growing all kinds of fruits. They have an annual Chilli Fiesta which has all kinds of stands selling chillis and chilli related stuff.
Its a fantastic day out – aside from the several thousand types of chilli sauce that you can try there are clothes, gardening products, plants and lots of food on sale.
So, in order to minimise typing time here is my top ten things that I enjoyed about the Chilli Fiesta! (Yes – this post is in top tens and chillies!)
1. Getting growing tips from the head chilli gardener at West Dean – now I finally know when to pot out, pinch the tips, how to ripen quicker and all manner of other things. I learnt more in the 25 min lecture than I have reading all manner of gardening books – mainly because no-one specifically mentions how to care for chillies in the books I have access to!
2. Trying all the sauces and dips – from the mild to the obscenely hot.
3. Wandering around the gardens getting tips for all our other vegetables – its a fantastic garden in its own right.
4. Seeing all the different types of chilli you can get – Black Pearl (not yet avaiable in seed) was great. Black leaves and small black round chillies. I want one!
5. Buying my new hydroponic set for next years chillies and peppers…. There was a reason to get electricity to the greenhouse – and hydroponics be thy name. Increased yields, automatic watering without using a hosepipe – constant nutrients to the roots. Its like porno* for gardeners!
6. Food! Feed me! Good selection of food stalls – best (as ever) was the hog roast! Dead pig in a bun with mushed up apples – you can’t get better than that. Unless you add chilli sauce of course.
7. Beer! There was the usual old man farmer type selling his tipple from the back of his van – I had a nice pint and came home with a four pack of great tasting ales.
8. China chilli mug – yes – I am that sad that I spent £7 on a chilli china mug. And we bought an over mit with chillies on it. And the only reason I don’t now have a cooking apron with chillies all over it is because the man in front of me bought the last one. Bastard.
9. Checking out the minature varieties like Rooster Spur and Prairie Fire. These ‘might’ be useful for some purpose that I’m not allowed to mention. Or something.
10. Buying some support for our pots – finally – the chillies won’t be supported by random bits of twine and crappy old bits of bamboo!
*Only there are no naked people.
Filed under: Top Tens
OK – seeing as I occasionally get a bit bored at work I sometimes turn to the interweb for inspiration.
One of my most frequently used favourites is Babel fish, which in a rather large nod to Mr D Adams translates any text you put in to any language you care to mention. And it can also do it back again. Or to another language and another until you get bored and finally turn it back to English.
Now as its a fairly basic translation there is massive scope for results which when translated back to English aren’t quite the same as they started. Its basically like a big game of chinese whispers.
So - now you get the concept here is my top ten mis-translations….no prizes for identifying the original quotes – but some are trickier than others! (2 and 10 are personal favourites – please feel free to leave your own in the comments….)
1. L ‘ oprimiendo, Stan. They received no stencil! Where is it the Foetus, which goes too gestate? ! It, which will remain maintaining by a crate? !
2. You cannot earn, Darth. If I pull down them, I will be more vigorous than how much you can perhaps suppose.
3. This is not droids seeks you.
4. They cannot intend to only handle the highest implementing nutrition because any aqueous acid threw a sword you!
5. The will someone obtains this moquette wandering from my sense!
6. Of all the gin it combines, in all the cities, all over the world, she has had to walk in mines.
7. They are that Bryan and therefore they are my moglie.
8. Your mother is a hamster and yours he smells of the father of the berries of sambuco.
9. My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius <…> Kinds to an assassinated son, husband to one assassinated moglie. And I will have mine vengeance, in this life or following.”
10. 1972 were sent a unit of the command of the slot to the prison by a military court for a crime, which they did not specify. These men under soil to maximum palisade of security in Los Angeles immediately are escaped. Today always desired by the government, they survive like soldiers of the fortune. If you have a problem…, if nobody can help other one… and if you can rent it possibly to find to be able…, you the one-man shank.
Filed under: Top Tens
My first top ten! Compiling this was harder than I thought – the songs are in no particular order as each one made me laugh at some point or another. I have also resisted the temptation to include more than one from Jake Thackray and Monty Python - otherwise no-one else would get a look in! AL Yankovic perhaps was included more because of the video (which was genius), but still, I reread the lyrics while researching this and they still made me chuckle. The Bonzo’s are very sixties sounding and as surreal as Python ever were. Its like listening to a musical version of Terry Gilliam’s cartoons…. HMHB were one of John Peel’s favourites – they can’t sing, their songs are really lo-fi but they consistently poke fun at gigs, bands and music, whilst still being incredibly catchy themselves.
And the Sultans also wrote a track which is the best song about footie ever! Forget 3 lions….it just wasn’t as good as Leather Boots so got omitted.
I will probably return to this – I know that I’ve missed out too many great songs and bands.
10. The Urban Spaceman – The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band
9. Kick me with your leather boots - The Sultans of Ping FC
8. Not The Noel Coward Song – Monty Python
7. Sister – Goldie Lookin’ Chain
6. Deep House Victims Minibus Appeal – Half Man Half Biscuit
5. The King Of Spain – Moxy Früvous
4. Combine Harvester – The Wurzels
3. The Lodger – Jake Thackray
2. Elements – Tom Lehrer
1. Smells like Nirvana – Wierd Al Yankovic
